How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship When You Have Kids

Navigating a romantic relationship while raising kids is not always as easy as it should be. It is definitely not as easy as we think it will be when we embark on the journey into parenthood. Kids change everything. When you are putting their needs first, your needs can often be left out. The needs of your relationship can also be left out in the cold. But, don’t worry. Here are some foolproof tips to keep the sparks flying. This is essential even when it feels like tiny, irrational bosses run your household.

1. Schedule Date Nights Like Your Sanity Depends On It

Remember dates? Those things you did before you started referring to each other as “mom” and “dad”? It’s time to bring them back. And no, a date night doesn’t have to mean a candlelit dinner at a swanky restaurant. That requires more energy than you’ve got left. Even a pizza and a movie at home can do wonders. The key? Just the two of you, uninterrupted. You may have to barricade the door and hide the iPads, but it’s worth it.

2. Embrace the Quick Check-in

Long, uninterrupted conversations are a luxury when you’ve got kids. So, pivot to the art of the quick check-in. Take 5 minutes to sync up, share a joke, or express something you appreciate about each other. You can do it while hiding from the kids in the pantry. You can also whisper in the dark after the bedtime battle has been won. It’s like emotional guerrilla warfare.

3. Keep the Intimacy Alive—And Locked

Intimacy with kids around can often feel like trying to light a candle in a hurricane. But it’s crucial. Lock your bedroom door to keep surprise visitors out and create a kid-free sanctuary. Even regular, non-romantic touch—a hug, a pat on the back, holding hands—can help keep a physical connection. Oh, and if you or your partner are having problems in that area, Male Excel can help. Think of it as keeping the embers glowing, ready to spark when the opportunity arises.

4. Tag Team Like Pros

Parenting is the ultimate team sport. Play to each other’s strengths and communicate openly about needs and expectations. Who’s on diaper duty tonight? Who’s doing bedtime stories? Like any good tag team, know when to tap in and give the other a break. The smoother your tag-teaming, the less resentment builds, and the more energy you save for each other.

5. Laugh It Off

Kids are unintentional comedians. Use that to your advantage. Laugh together at the absurdities and the mess-ups. Did your toddler paint the dog? Is there cereal in your shoe? It’s either laugh or cry, so you might as well get a good belly laugh. Shared laughter can be a powerful glue in a relationship.

6. Deploy Gratitude Bombs

Feeling appreciated is like emotional gold in a relationship. Make it a habit to thank each other. Do not just thank for the big things. Also, thank for the everyday tasks that often go unnoticed. Did they refill the diaper station? Make coffee? Acknowledge it. Sometimes, just hearing “Hey, I noticed” can feel as good as a night off.

7. Get Your Village

It takes a village to raise a child and keep a relationship healthy. Lean on family, friends, or a babysitter to step in sometimes. Use that break to recharge as a couple or even just as individuals. A little breathing room can make a big difference.

8. Keep Dreaming Together

Getting caught up in the day-to-day survival mode is easy, but don’t lose sight of the bigger picture. Keep talking about your dreams, plans, and interests beyond the kids. Planning a future trip can keep the relationship dynamic and forward-looking. A dream home renovation can also keep it dynamic. Even fantasizing about a day you can sleep in keeps it forward-looking.

9. Say Yes to Self-Care

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of your health and well-being. Encourage your partner to do the same. Healthy, happy individuals make for a healthy, happy relationship. Plus, self-care can often lead to guilt-free couple care.

10. Embrace the Imperfect

Accept that some days, the kids will have you both at your wits’ end. Romance will be the last thing on your mind. That’s okay. Relationships aren’t about being perfect; they’re about being real. Embrace the chaos, support each other through the tough days, and celebrate the small victories.

Bonus Tip: Dress to Impress—Each Other

It’s easy to slip into a routine of sweatpants and messy buns when you’re juggling kids, but don’t underestimate the power of dressing up for each other. Looking good isn’t just for date nights or special occasions—it’s a way to show you still care. It’s about sending a message that says: “I still want to impress you.” For the guys, investing in custom men’s clothing can be a game-changer, helping you feel confident and stylish without the hassle of shopping for generic fits. For the ladies, taking a little time to wear something that makes you feel beautiful—whether it’s a flattering dress, a chic blouse, or even just a touch of makeup—can reignite that spark. It’s not about dressing up for anyone else; it’s about showing your partner (and yourself) that you still value feeling attractive and confident.

Remember, maintaining a healthy relationship amidst the chaos of parenting isn’t all about grand gestures. The little moments add something special. So, here’s to thriving in your relationship, even when your kids are determined to test it at every turn!