Daily Deals from a Nerd Mom

I’m tired.

I’m tired of waking up every day and feeling the weight of anxiety before my feet even hit the floor. I’m tired of living in constant fear – fear of what’s outside, fear of being judged, fear of just existing.

Agoraphobia and social phobia have stolen so many small joys from me. Checking the mail or taking out the trash shouldn’t feel like scaling a mountain. Yet, I find myself peeking through windows, hoping the coast is clear, because if someone’s there, I’ll just stay inside.

I’m tired of being 45 years old and still not having a driver’s license. The thought of driving doesn’t just scare me – it physically sickens me. I can’t even picture myself behind the wheel without panic setting in.

I’m tired of the financial strain that keeps us constantly on edge. After losing too many customers due to stolen equipment, our business is barely scraping by. Rent, utilities – every month, it feels like a miracle if we make it. And losing my original website to financial struggles cost me more than income; it cost me momentum. I’m rebuilding it slowly, but the climb feels endless.

I’m tired of submitting job applications into a void. Remote jobs that seem like a perfect fit often lead to scams or rejection due to lack of experience or a degree. Even my son faces this uphill battle – interviews that go nowhere, companies forgetting they even scheduled him, or vague promises to “keep him on file.”

I’m tired of watching our oldest child, away at college, carry so much responsibility on their own. They balance classes, work, and living expenses with grace, but I wish we could do more to ease their burden.

I’m tired of watching our 10-year-old bulldog slowly fade. Dementia is cruel, and while I do my best to stay patient, it’s heartbreaking to see them struggle.

I’m tired of watching my husband’s health decline. We’re searching for answers, but the uncertainty terrifies me. I try to care for him without nagging, but it’s hard not to feel helpless. Still, his gratitude for the little things I do keeps me going.

I’m tired of battling perimenopause. The hormonal shifts magnify my anxiety, making me feel like I’m losing control. I’m grateful for medication that helps, but the journey is still rough.

I’m tired of wondering if I’m on the spectrum. For years, it’s felt like the missing piece of the puzzle, and voicing it aloud in the past year has been both terrifying and liberating.

I’m tired of the division this election season has brought. Seeing people I know through a lens of disappointment is disheartening, and the uncertainty of what’s ahead is heavy.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m not enough, of carrying the weight of so much, and of fighting battles – big and small – every single day.

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My husband supported us financially for many years while I was able to homeschool our 3 children. It made it so easy for me to create a bubble around myself. This shielded me from the outside and everything that created major anxiety for me. Now with everything flipped, I’m left feeling exposed, unprepared, and overwhelmed by the weight of it all.

But even in my exhaustion, I’m not giving up.

I’m slowly finding small pockets of hope and progress:

• Each day that I work on rebuilding my website is a step toward regaining stability.
• Every time I push myself to face a fear, it’s a victory. Even if it’s just opening the door to check the mail, it’s a victory.
• When I see my oldest thriving in college despite the challenges, it reminds me that our sacrifices have meaning.

I’ve learned to lean into the love and support of my family. This is true even on the days when I feel like I’m falling short. My husband’s gratitude keeps me grounded, and my children’s resilience inspires me to keep fighting. My extended family and close friends has also been an incredible source of strength, offering their help and kindness when we’ve needed it most. And while I’m still navigating these rough waters, I’m holding on to the hope that brighter days are ahead.

For now, I’ll take it one day, one breath, one tiny win at a time.

Because even though I’m tired, I’m still here. And that counts for something.

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Mental Health Support

You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or overwhelming fear, these resources might be a lifeline:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Whether you’re looking for local support groups or someone to talk to, NAMI offers a wealth of free resources. Their helpline is a great first step for finding what you need.

Crisis Text Line: Sometimes, just reaching out can lighten the load. Text HOME to 741741, and a trained counselor will be there for you – day or night.

BetterHelp: Finding the right therapist can make all the difference. BetterHelp connects you with licensed therapists online, so you can get help from the comfort of your own home.

Personal Growth and Mindset Shifts

Small wins can create big changes. These tools and platforms might help you find hope, focus, and peace:

The Mighty: Sometimes, hearing someone else’s story is the reminder we need to keep going. The Mighty is full of inspiring, relatable stories from people navigating life’s challenges – just like you.

Calm App: When anxiety feels overwhelming, a few minutes of guided meditation or soothing sounds can be a lifesaver. The Calm app offers tools to help you find stillness and clarity, one breath at a time.

Daily Gratitude Journal: Even on the hardest days, finding one thing to be thankful for can be grounding. Whether you use a simple notebook or an app like Gratitude, this practice can help shift your perspective.

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If you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, or stuck, I hope these resources can be a starting point for you. Reaching out or trying something new can feel like a huge leap, but even the smallest step forward matters. Whether it’s reading someone else’s story on The Mighty, taking five minutes to breathe with Calm, or simply texting a friend, every action you take is a victory.

Remember, you’re not alone. I’d love to hear about your small wins or what’s helped you find hope on hard days – feel free to share in the comments. Together, we can keep moving forward, one breath and one step at a time.