Photo by Sirius Df
There is this thing that happens when you get older where you assume certain phases will just….fade out. Like you’ll naturally evolve into someone who doesn’t get emotionally wrecked over a fictional cowboy, or who has fully moved on from eating SpaghettiOs straight from the can. You picture some future, more mature version of yourself and think, yeah, she’s got it together.
I’m turning 47 in May. That version of me has not shown up yet.
Y’all, I am not her.
And honestly? I’ve stopped waiting.
Here are a few things I was absolutely convinced I’d outgrow someday.
Spoiler: someday hasn’t come yet, and I’m not sure I want it to.
The Sims
I started playing the original Sims when our oldest was a toddler.
Naptime looked like this:
- Get the toddler settled
- Pop in the disc into the Xbox (actually, it was always in the drive LOL)
- Toddler dozes off next to me while I built a house or watched my little virtual Sims make terrible life choices.
Sometimes I’d hand them a spare controller so they would feel like they were in on it too.
That toddler is 25 now.
And I’m still playing The Sims.
I’ve gone through every version of the game and Sims 4 is a regular part of my life to this day. I have zero shame about this. None. If anything, I’ve leaned in harder. I’ve graduated to playing it on PC now with mods. There is something genuinely therapeutic about controlling a tiny world where the stakes are completely made up. I don’t know what that says about me, but I’m choosing to believe it’s a good thing.
My Entire Wardrobe
I keep thinking that I’ll eventually buy, like, regular people t-shirts. Solid colors, maybe a stripe. Something that doesn’t require the other person to either recognize the reference or ask about it.
And then I’ll add another anime shirt to the mix and call it a day.
At this point, my wardrobe is basically a rotating gallery of the things that I love, and I have stopped pretending that’s going to change. All I wear is t-shirts and every single one of them is either anime, gaming, or some pop culture reference. At almost 47, I’ve fully accepted this as my uniform.
Sobbing Over Fictional Characters
I cannot tell you how many times a video game, anime, or a show has reached into my chest and done something genuinely upsetting to my heart. I thought maybe by now I’d be immune. That I’d see the emotional part and just…handle it.
Nope.
I’ve cried over characters from The Walking Dead, Red Dead Redemption 2, Cyberpunk 2077, Spiritfarer, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, Naruto, Life is Strange, Attack on Titan, and more. Some of them I still think about regularly. Some of them broke me in ways I genuinely didn’t see coming.
I have a lot of feelings about fictional people and I’ve fully accepted that about myself.
I actually have so much to say about this that it will get its own post. You can read that next week.
Stories with a Good Twist
I have always loved a good twist ending. There is nothing quite like that moment when a story flips on you and suddenly everything you just read or watched means something completely different. It’s like a little puzzle reward for paying attention.
This never got old. It will never get old. If anything, I seek it out more now than I did as a kid. A great short-story with a gut-punch ending? Chef’s kiss, every time.
Doctor Who is probably the best example of this in my life. That show has no business being as emotionally devastating as it is. You think you’re watching a fun sci-fi adventure and then out of nowhere it flips everything on its head and you’re sitting there with your jaw on the floor and tears running down your face. It has made me cry more times than I can count and I keep coming back for more. The twists are great, but what really gets me is the genuine heart underneath all of it. Every story means something. I love it unreasonably and have no plans to stop.
Questionable Food Choices
I was going to sugarcoat this but I already admitted to the SpaghettiOs thing in the intro, so let’s just go with it.
I love food. Specifically, I love food that a nutritionist would suggest I reconsider. I will eat SpaghettiOs (or even store brand) directly from the can and feel completely fine about it. There is no age limit on things that just taste good, and I refuse to pretend otherwise.
Life is short. Eat the thing.
The Obsession Phase
You know the one. You discover something, whether it’s a show, game, soundtrack, band, or a whole fictional universe, and suddenly it’s all you can think about.
I have done this with musical and gaming soundtracks more times than I can count. I’ll find one that hits just right and listen to it on rotation until I know every word, every harmony, every dramatic key change. It’s basically a religious experience.
Bo Burnham’s Inside special on Netflix is probably the most personal example I can give. I was completely obsessed with that soundtrack for a long time, and honestly I still gravitate back to it. It hit me deeply in ways that are hard to explain unless you’ve been there, but if you deal with mental health struggles, you know exactly what I mean. That special felt like it put words to things I didn’t know how to say out loud. The music stayed with me because it felt like something real.
The Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 soundtrack is a more recent one. If you’ve played the game, you already know, and if you haven’t, just trust me that the music does something to you. It’s been on heavy rotation and I don’t see that changing either anytime soon.
I kept waiting to become the kind of person that can just casually enjoy things.
That’s not me. I don’t think I ever will be.
And I’ve made peace with that.
The Bottom Line
I think there was a version of “growing up” that I had in mind that looked a lot like caring less. Less intensity, less attachment, less joy over things that aren’t Very Serious Adult Matters.
But caring a lot is kind of my whole thing. It always has been. And every time I’ve had to dial it back, I’ve just ended up less happy and no more mature.
So here I am.
Still playing Sims.
Still crying at fictional cowboys.
Still eating from the can.
Still completely wrecked by a good story.
Totally fine with it all.
What about you? What are things you were absolutely sure you’d outgrow by now? Drop them in the comments, because I have a feeling I’m not alone here.
Daily Deals from a Nerd Mom 
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